Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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