I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I see more hoeing in ur future
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