Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
