She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
