last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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