At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
