somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
