and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
