i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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