I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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