I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
God, I missed his penis.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
