i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
