I love watching others lives come down to our level.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
