a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize