how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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