It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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