After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
