So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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