summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
