I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
