Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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