hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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