I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
