I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
