Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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