When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I've blown a few things in my day
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
