He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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