I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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