Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
