So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
