there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
