No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
