Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just high enough for therapy.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
