She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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