What did we do last night that was yellow?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
