I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
