oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
