i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
