So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
