But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i came on her dog
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
