using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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