I'd wear matching sweaters with you
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
