So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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