it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
