He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
