apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
