he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
