remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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