Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
