Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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