So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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