do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
