three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
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